Help To Overcome Gossip (Part 1 of 2)
As children we all heard the old adage, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This saying was untrue then, and it continues to be untrue even as we have matured beyond childhood. Words do hurt, and often they hurt very, very deeply. Some of the most lasting wounds we experience have resulted from the stinging criticism of our enemies, the slanderous words of one we considered a friend, or words expressing disappointment from someone we love dearly. Sins involving the tongue are some of the most divisive and despicable transgressions to be found in Scripture. The catalogue of sins of the tongue is quite lengthy, including blasphemy, slander, backbiting, lying, bearing false witness, cursing, and gossip.
Gossip, referred to in Scripture as tale bearing or whispering, is one of the grossest abuses of the tongue. Such evil speaking often divides friends, families, communities, and congregations. Gossip is an insidious evil that seeks to destroy the one of whom it speaks, him who speaks it, and him who would incline his ear to hear it. The words of the Proverbs writer ring true, “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Proverbs18:8; 26:22). “A forward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends” (Proverbs16:28). “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Among the list of sins Paul catalogued among the Gentiles is found whispering and backbiting (Romans 1:29,30). O, how much grief and heartache we bring upon ourselves and upon others because of a desire to tell tales! If only we could learn, “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (Prov.26:20). It requires constant vigilance on our part to see that the tongue is held in check, for in the instance we become lax in guarding it, we may say something which can never be taken back, and which will do far more harm than we ever intended or imagined (see James 3:5-8). As with any sin, the Bible does not leave us without a way(s) to overcome it. God has given us direction as to how we can overcome the temptation to gossip.
First of all, we must learn to love our neighbors as ourselves. This commandment is one of the two commandments upon which every law God has ever given rests (Matthew 22:37-40). He who would love his neighbor as himself is fulfilling what man has deemed “the Golden Rule” (Matthew 7:12). We must come to value the soul of every individual as we would our own, more valuable than all of earth’s treasures combined (Matthew 16:26). I do not desire that others spread rumors about me, or speak evil of me. I do not wish for others to accuse me without allowing me opportunity to talk with my accusers and answer the accusations. If I value the soul of my friends, neighbors, co-workers, relatives, and my brethren in Christ, I will not treat them in such fashion. Gossip is generally founded on hearsay, often founded upon half-truths or even upon complete falsehoods. A child of God has no business repeating such, nor should he even listen to such nonsense. All gossip would cease if the talebearer had no one to listen to his idiotic and sinful palaver. We should be party to neither end of this heinous chain of character assassination. It may be the case that what I hear and/or speak is true regarding the individual under consideration, but nonetheless should not be repeated. Just because something is true does not remove it from the realm of gossip. Before speaking of another, I should ask myself, “Is what I am about to say regarding this individual true? Will it help the individual if I repeat this? Will I honor God by what I am about to say?” If the answer to any of these questions is “No,” I should not say it.
-Patrick Morrison
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